It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
