using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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