Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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