addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
