i jhust puked up my retainher.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
