Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
