All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
