Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
