matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
