i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
MIDGETS
????
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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