Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
