a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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