You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
