I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
