Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
