Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
