how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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