Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
porn star boner night. come get it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
