im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
