he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
