I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
