I wish I could teleport
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
