Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
