Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
