Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
