I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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