sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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