Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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