SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
