Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
