He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
