You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
