wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
