he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
