We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
