I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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