i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
