omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
