im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
