Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
