you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
