You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
