Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize