I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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