I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
