Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
