I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
