i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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