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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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