My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
