seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
