He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize