ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
