You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
