we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
