you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
