best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
