Where did you get a picture of my penis
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
