ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ugly people sure do ruin things
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
