Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
