U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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