i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
