I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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