the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
