i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize