Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I got inside last night via doggy door
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
