Whoa Z and x make the same sound
everyone is single if you try hard enough
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
