i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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