dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
